“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”
Henry David Thoreau knew in the 1800s what I am only now discovering. That the things we surround ourselves with which are supposed to give us fulfillment came actually weigh us down.
If you were a reader of my previous blog, Love and a 45 RPM, you might not be surprised that I have quite the record collection. While music and the creative expression of those artists will always be important to me, the tangible pressing of that object is not.
When I was in my early teens I was often made to feel inferior by young males due to my lack of musical knowledge, specific to whichever genre they preferred at the time. My knowledge grew both from my own exploration and influences of those around me. I found myself attracted to young men with vast musical knowledge. I ended up in relationships which often went sour due to a "party" mentality. When I was alone and sad, when a friend passed away from an addiction or when the king of rock and roll broke my heart, that's when I found myself paying $100 for records even when I was only eating ramen noodles for dinner.
I DJed for a long time, and the records were heard by many. As I got older, and my son got older, DJing became more difficult. Staying up till after last call and driving home to the suburbs meant crashing on my sofa and sleeping away a hangover while my so watched television till noon. I had guilt from my drinking, guilt from my lack of parenting, and my body hated me.
Now I rarely DJ and am surrounded by a relic graveyard of vinyl. I appreciate every last record, but I also see an anchor keeping me from realizing my dream of New Mexico. This weekend I started at the tip of the black iceberg and sold 4 records. It isn't much yet, but I hope it is my new beginning to a simpler lifestyle. Maybe one day I will be able to live off of what I can fit in a suitcase and then true living will be possible.